By Dianne Anderson

Mothers may cringe at the thought, but so many swallow their pride anyway to turn for help from every available resource, food stamps and state programs, whatever it takes to take care of the kids.

Toi Nichols gets it.

Always a hard worker since she was 15 years old, Nichols experienced that level of need firsthand while giving birth to her now four-year-old son. She temporarily lost all feeling in her right leg, an ordeal that changed her life in more ways than one.

“I couldn’t go back to work, I lost my job, lost my insurance. I was afraid of applying for government assistance and the stigma around it. I got pushback even from my family and once I did that, it was a stepping stone I needed to get [life] to the next step,” she said.

She felt she deserved to tap the benefits that she paid into for so long. With no income, she was seeing a neurologist every other week, along with physical therapy three times a week. Resources for moms were hard to find, and when she did access services, it felt degrading.

“I’m sure part of it was how I felt about it personally. Some of it was that some of the services I got wasn’t amazing, and there were judgmental parties,” she said.

Her program, part of the city’s Black Health Equity Collaborative, provides a safe place for moms to ask questions and get help.

Since starting in 2018, her program has expanded to offer monthly educational workshops, including car seat safety, CPR certification, infant CPR and choking, lactation workshops, and support groups.

Today, she also has an eight-month-old, and she is well aware of what moms need. For women in their second trimester, she covers all the basics.

M.O.R.E Mothers serve over 125 Long Beach women and children and through their Motherhood Together Program, provides free monthly deliveries of diapers, wipes, hygiene essentials, clothing, food, strollers, bottles, and car seats, to name a few.

“We deliver right to their door, [inquire] how’s mom and how’s baby?” she said. “We communicate with the moms often. It’s really tough out there. There’s a lot of factors with daycare, childcare preschool and the cost of living.”

It’s probably one of the worst times in the history of moms.

She said the cost of gas, upkeep of cars, the extreme cost of childcare, a formula shortage, evictions, the housing crisis, and other day-to-day living have been heartbreaking to watch. Other challenges face all mothers, like whether or not to get their child vaccinated and get back to school.

“When children were in school and got sick, what does mom do if she can’t take off work to care for her child?” she said.

In one recent discussion hosted by the Center for American Progress, panelists discussed how the pandemic exacerbated long-standing wage and wealth gaps between Black and white households in America.

“Black women disproportionately were essential workers who continued to go to work while trying to navigate caregiving responsibilities, often in undervalued jobs with low wages and too few benefits. At the same time, they experienced among the highest rates of women’s unemployment during the pandemic, causing economic strains, particularly because more than 80 percent of Black mothers are sole, primary, or co-breadwinners for their families,” according to the CAP event.

Nichols said that many factors play a part in accessing proper care, and cultural support is critical for the community.

The CDC reports that Black moms also continue to die three times more than white moms from pregnancy-related causes. Black infants are also twice as likely to die than white infants.

“The numbers are devastating, that’s something we work on with maternal education, and resource programs providing tools for women to help them advocate for themselves and have a voice. Black Infant Health does amazing work too, but it’s still an ongoing battle,” she said.

Nichols’ program has leveraged relationships with physicians, mental health professionals, referral process with Welcome Baby at Long Beach Memorial, and LB Black Infant Health. She works on community events, collaborates with community partners and meets families at community resource fairs.

Word of mouth has been a great tool for their program.

“Moms are referring friends or family members, speaking of the program, people say I was talking to someone at Target at the baby isle,” she said. “It’s a blessing, there are moments where it’s challenging, it’s the most rewarding work I’ve ever done.”

For information on MORE Mothers, see  https://www.moremothers.org/

To hear the CAP panel discussion, see

https://www.americanprogress.org/events/improving-economic-opportunity-for-black-women-and-families/